The Arrogance of Well-meaning People — The Parker J Cole Show **REBROADCAST**

In April, my hubby and I were walking our dog one afternoon when we came upon our neighbor from a couple of blocks down the street walking her dog. I asked after her husband, who I knew had been sick for a while and she told me he’d passed away a month before. Shocked, I gave her my condolences. She talked about her husband for a few moments. Then I started to share some of my memories of her husband as we walked back to her house. Her smile as I told a particularly humorous event lit her face up. She looked beautiful as we shared in the memory.

About two months later, we walked our dog again and she was sitting outside her home reading a book. After my dog and hers greeted each other, I asked how she had been doing since her husband’s death. She said, “I should be getting over it now.” I froze for a moment and knew in an instant she may have been mimicking someone else’s platitude. It angered me. Her husband had just died TWO months ago. Was it comforting to tell a woman who shared her life with her spouse that she should be over it now?

Unfortunately, this wouldn’t be the last time I’ve heard of people, in the middle of grief, being hurt by well-meaning people. In fact, it would be several more stories over the course of this time that led me to reach out to my returning guest co-host and contributor, Gary Roe. Well acquainted with grief and loss, I wanted him to help understand that in our efforts to give comfort, we need to be so careful of how execute it. In fact, in our well-meaning attempts to help, an certain arrogance may precipitate our words and cause more harm than good.

Join me by calling in at 646-668-8485 and press 1 to be live on air. Or, download Stitcher on your mobile device. Or, click on the link here: http://tobtr.com/s/10332995

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The Parker J Cole Show — Hope for the Grieving

This past week the nation was shocked by the senseless murders of forty nine people in a nightclub in Orlando. Being heralded as the worst mass shooting in modern U. S. history, the victims and the families are in a state of shock with many unanswered questions. As new details come to light in these few days, more questions are still being asked. “Why?” being the most prevalent.

Some have used the events to harp on the behavior of the individuals because of their participation in a homosexual lifestyle. Others have used the events to talk more about gun control and anti-terrorism acts. Other still use the event for their own agenda whatever that may be. Yet in the midst of this, are forty nine families forever changed by a violent act. What about them? How are they going to pick up the pieces of their lives now that their loved ones are gone?

How can grieving families whether from the Orlando victims or anyone else who has had a loved taken away, find hope?

Join me as I discuss this topic with my return guest, Gary Roe, minister,  grief survivor, and author as we tackle this topic. Feel free to weigh in at 646-668-8485, press 1 to be live on air. Or, you can download Stitcher on your mobile device. Or, you can click on the link here: http://tobtr.com/9009637. Tune in!

The Parker J Cole Show — Empowering Men Enduring Grief

Parker J Cole BannerLast month, we focused on women’s empowerment in different areas of life — from purity, to boundary settings, Biblical studies, and in the midst of illness. This month, we will be focusing on men’s empowerment in different areas. So join me for a series of discussions to empower men.

This week on the Parker J Cole Show, we will be empoering men going through grief. Grief encompasses many aspects of life from the lost of a spouse or child, to the lost of a parent or friend. Sometime grief encompasses the loss of financial income and stability, personal goals, and other things. However, even in the changing culture of gender roles, men are still expected to be strong and resilent. Yet sometimes, grief can be hard to get over.

Join me for this edition of the Parker J Cole Show as I talk with author and survivor, Gary Roe about empowering men enduring grief. You can call in at 646-668-8485, press 1 to be live on air. Or, you download the Stitcher app on your mobile. Or, you can click on the link here: http://tobtr.com/8671599

Write Stuff Author Spotlight — Please Be Patient, I’m Grieving by Gary Roe — .99 Cents

Grieving

Loss hurts. It’s tough to go through, and painful to watch.

Do you know someone who’s grieving and wish you could help?

Are you the one grieving and wonder if what you’re going through is normal? Do you wish those around you understood you better?

This book has answers.

This practical and easy-to-read book provides the answers you need to make a difference – in your own life and in the lives of others.

Bestselling author, hospice chaplain, and grief specialist Gary Roe gives you a look at the grieving heart – the thoughts, emotions, and struggles within. If you’re wanting to help someone who’s grieving, you’ll get a glimpse of what’s going on inside them and be better able to love and support them. If you’re in the midst of loss, you’ll see yourself as you read, and be encouraged that you aren’t as weird or crazy as you thought.

In Please Be Patient, I’m Grieving, you will learn…
• How hurting, grieving people are feeling and thinking.
• How to discover what they need and don’t need.
• What to say and not to say.
• How to be a help and not a hindrance in the grieving process.
• How the grief and pain of others can affect you.
• How helping others stimulates your own personal growth and healing.
• How these skills can enhance all your relationships.

This book can help you develop a priceless ability– how to hear the heart of someone who’s hurting. The benefits for them, and for you, can be staggering.


 

Reviews:

“I have several of Gary’s publications. Everything I have read of his is incredible! I downloaded it on my Kindle to go with the other books of his I have. When you lose someone the grief never really goes away. It changes over time so I often re-read Gary’s books. Thank you Gary for your personal emails and for your words of wisdom and hope over the past few years!

“Up until recently I hadn’t lost many people close to me nor did I really know others who had either. So when my dad passed three years ago, I was suddenly thrust into a world that was so unfamiliar. First, I needed to deal with my own grieving. Then I really wanted to be supportive and caring for my mom. This little book would have been so helpful to have at that time. The author, Gary, a hospice chaplain, knows a lot about grief. He is one of those who has been gifted to be there for those who are suffering. His writing rings of truth because he is sharing the words and feelings of real people. Authentic, easy to read, and so hopeful. Even three years after our biggest loss, this book has still been such a help to me and my mom. It’s well worth your time to read it.”

“Gary has captured one of life’s most necessary processes and makes it a normal response to life itself. Anyone can benefit from this book on grief which is easy to read and can be used as a source of strength for anyone going through a loss of any kind. It doesn’t try to be a textbook on grief, rather a short book on a big subject that serve as a sympathy card for anyone.”

 

Tonight on the Write Stuff — Special Edition of the Parker J Cole Show–I Miss You

*****SPECIAL BROADCAST*****

I aired this show on the Parker J Cole show about ten days ago. It has quickly become a show that has been listened to over and over again. Even through the holidays, people are grieving and dealing with pain. I hope this show encourages you as it has me.

__________________________________

The past several shows of the Parker J Cole have focused on dealing with difficult times during the Christmas season. This episode rounds it all up with a single phrase — I Miss You.

When a loved one has passed away it’s very difficult to get into the holiday spirit. The grief you may experience can be insurmountable, crushing you. It’s a black hole sucking the joy from your heart. It’s a tiny whole in the fabric of your universe siphoning away the happy times you’ve shared with you loved one.

All in all, you miss them.

How do you survive the holidays?

Join me with a survivor and author of the book “I Miss You: A Holiday Survival Kit” Gary Roe as he helps you to survive grief during the holidays. Call in at 646-595-2083, press 1 to be live on air. Or, click on the link here: http://tobtr.com/8174321. Tune In!

ABOUT THE BOOK

thumbLosing a loved one is painful. Life will never be the same.

And if this wasn’t hard enough, the holidays are bearing down upon you. What in the world are you supposed to do?

You need a grief survival kit designed for the holidays. That’s why I wrote Surviving the Holidays without You: Navigating Grief During Special Seasons.

As a hospice chaplain, I’ve had the honor of walking with thousands of hurting people through deep, dark valleys of grief. From my personal grief experiences and theirs, I’ve gathered some tools that can help you not only survive the holidays, but heal and grow through them.

Even though these holidays will be different, they can still be good – very good.

In Surviving the Holidays without You, you’ll discover the answers to these questions:

• Why are the holidays so hard?
• How can I manage my own and others’ expectations?
• Is it possible for holidays to be good this year? How?
• Sometimes I feel misunderstood, judged, and alone. How do I handle that?
• How can I grieve and celebrate at the same time?
• I need to make wise choices about what to do, when, and with whom. How do I do that?
• I don’t know how to move on. What does moving on look like?
• How can I use the holidays to grieve well, honor my loved one, and love others?

Give yourself the gift of navigating grief well this holiday season. You’ll be glad you did.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

2011-09-22_17.50.56_312px-300x139
Gary Roe has been a campus minister, church-planter in Japan, and pastor in Texas and Washington. He currently serves as a writer, speaker and chaplain with Hospice Brazos Valley in Central Texas.

He is the author of four books, including Heartbroken (Amazon Bestseller, 2015 National Indie Excellence Award Finalist) and Not Quite Healed (co-authored with New York Times Bestseller Cecil Murphey, 2013 Lime Award Finalist for Excellence in Non-Fiction). With more than 250 articles in print, he is a popular speaker at a wide variety of venues.

 

The Parker J Cole Show — I Miss You

PARKER J COLE BANNER

 

The past several shows of the Parker J Cole have focused on dealing with difficult times during the Christmas season. This episode rounds it all up with a single phrase — I Miss You.

When a loved one has passed away it’s very difficult to get into the holiday spirit. The grief you may experience can be insurmountable, crushing you. It’s a black hole sucking the joy from your heart. It’s a tiny whole in the fabric of your universe siphoning away the happy times you’ve shared with you loved one.

All in all, you miss them.

How do you survive the holidays?

Join me with a survivor and author of the book “I Miss You: A Holiday Survival Kit” Gary Roe as he helps you to survive grief during the holidays. Call in at 646-595-2083, press 1 to be live on air. Or, click on the link here: http://tobtr.com/s/8145345. Tune In!

Grace-full Grief

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Original Image via Flickr Creative Commons, courtesy of Denise Allen

As a child, I always looked forward to Christmas. We used to celebrate it on Christmas Day. We’d run down the stairs, see all the presents under the tree, and we’d thank Mama and Daddy for gifts. I don’t recall Mama and Daddy ever giving any acknowledgement to Santa Claus for the presents. Then one Christmas Eve, we all went to sleep. At midnight, the door to our room burst open and Daddy screamed, “It’s Christmas! It’s Christmas!” Of course, we were all disoriented having just gone to the bed maybe three or four hour earlier. From that day on, we celebrated Christmas on Christmas Eve. Although now, it’s in the evening around eight or so. My sisters and I compete to give my nephew the best gift. We sing, talk, and have a great time.

I have very pleasant memories of the holiday. As a child, the best part about Christmas was waiting for it. The anticipation, the mystery, added to the delicious feeling.

Others wait for Christmas with dread. If anything, they want the holiday to come and go as quickly as possible. The season holds memories of loved ones who are no longer there. The bright lights, the songs, the music which some may enjoy only adds salt to an open wound. How can they survive ‘the most wonderful time of the year’ with a gaping hole in their heart?

To help us unpack this topic, we will be talking with Laurie Alice Eakes. Feel free to call and ask questions of our guests. You can call in at 646-595-2083 press 1 and you’ll be live on air. Or, you can listen to use live via the web by clicking the link here: http://tobtr.com/s/5795131. Or, you can download the WLUV Radio app on your mobile device and listen to us that way. There are all kinds of ways to connect so join us.