The Arrogance of Well-meaning People — The Parker J Cole Show **REBROADCAST**

In April, my hubby and I were walking our dog one afternoon when we came upon our neighbor from a couple of blocks down the street walking her dog. I asked after her husband, who I knew had been sick for a while and she told me he’d passed away a month before. Shocked, I gave her my condolences. She talked about her husband for a few moments. Then I started to share some of my memories of her husband as we walked back to her house. Her smile as I told a particularly humorous event lit her face up. She looked beautiful as we shared in the memory.

About two months later, we walked our dog again and she was sitting outside her home reading a book. After my dog and hers greeted each other, I asked how she had been doing since her husband’s death. She said, “I should be getting over it now.” I froze for a moment and knew in an instant she may have been mimicking someone else’s platitude. It angered me. Her husband had just died TWO months ago. Was it comforting to tell a woman who shared her life with her spouse that she should be over it now?

Unfortunately, this wouldn’t be the last time I’ve heard of people, in the middle of grief, being hurt by well-meaning people. In fact, it would be several more stories over the course of this time that led me to reach out to my returning guest co-host and contributor, Gary Roe. Well acquainted with grief and loss, I wanted him to help understand that in our efforts to give comfort, we need to be so careful of how execute it. In fact, in our well-meaning attempts to help, an certain arrogance may precipitate our words and cause more harm than good.

Join me by calling in at 646-668-8485 and press 1 to be live on air. Or, download Stitcher on your mobile device. Or, click on the link here: http://tobtr.com/s/10332995

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Write Stuff Author Spotlight — Please Be Patient, I’m Grieving by Gary Roe — .99 Cents

Grieving

Loss hurts. It’s tough to go through, and painful to watch.

Do you know someone who’s grieving and wish you could help?

Are you the one grieving and wonder if what you’re going through is normal? Do you wish those around you understood you better?

This book has answers.

This practical and easy-to-read book provides the answers you need to make a difference – in your own life and in the lives of others.

Bestselling author, hospice chaplain, and grief specialist Gary Roe gives you a look at the grieving heart – the thoughts, emotions, and struggles within. If you’re wanting to help someone who’s grieving, you’ll get a glimpse of what’s going on inside them and be better able to love and support them. If you’re in the midst of loss, you’ll see yourself as you read, and be encouraged that you aren’t as weird or crazy as you thought.

In Please Be Patient, I’m Grieving, you will learn…
• How hurting, grieving people are feeling and thinking.
• How to discover what they need and don’t need.
• What to say and not to say.
• How to be a help and not a hindrance in the grieving process.
• How the grief and pain of others can affect you.
• How helping others stimulates your own personal growth and healing.
• How these skills can enhance all your relationships.

This book can help you develop a priceless ability– how to hear the heart of someone who’s hurting. The benefits for them, and for you, can be staggering.


 

Reviews:

“I have several of Gary’s publications. Everything I have read of his is incredible! I downloaded it on my Kindle to go with the other books of his I have. When you lose someone the grief never really goes away. It changes over time so I often re-read Gary’s books. Thank you Gary for your personal emails and for your words of wisdom and hope over the past few years!

“Up until recently I hadn’t lost many people close to me nor did I really know others who had either. So when my dad passed three years ago, I was suddenly thrust into a world that was so unfamiliar. First, I needed to deal with my own grieving. Then I really wanted to be supportive and caring for my mom. This little book would have been so helpful to have at that time. The author, Gary, a hospice chaplain, knows a lot about grief. He is one of those who has been gifted to be there for those who are suffering. His writing rings of truth because he is sharing the words and feelings of real people. Authentic, easy to read, and so hopeful. Even three years after our biggest loss, this book has still been such a help to me and my mom. It’s well worth your time to read it.”

“Gary has captured one of life’s most necessary processes and makes it a normal response to life itself. Anyone can benefit from this book on grief which is easy to read and can be used as a source of strength for anyone going through a loss of any kind. It doesn’t try to be a textbook on grief, rather a short book on a big subject that serve as a sympathy card for anyone.”